Is it silly to mourn someone you never personally knew? Sometimes, I think it is. At least that's what I told myself when I teared up this morning after discovering that Alan Rickman had passed away. I didn't even know the man. Not really. I knew him by his characters. The ones up on the silver screen. The ones that made me cry or laugh. The ones that broke my heart or made me utterly despise them. They weren't real. He was. And I didn't know him. So why was I crying?
Then I told my cynical side to bugger off. Because it's ok to mourn someone who brought you joy. Even if you never met them face-to-face.
I've spent the better part of the morning thinking about some Rickman's best performances. Of course, a better Snape I could not have imagined. And he was excellent as the dastardly Hans Gruber in Die Hard, and as the reprehensible yet slightly hilarious Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
But I well and truly lost my heart to him when he played the devoted Colonel Brandon to Kate Winslet's Marianne Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility.
Alan Rickman as Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility
In the book, I could forgive Marianne Dashwood for pursuing the philandering Willoughby, even at the expense of Colonel Brandon's heart. But in the film, I could not. I could not forgive Marianne for spurning Brandon's love. Not when the man was standing right in front of her, all utter devotion and silky, seductive voice. Colonel Brandon wins, hands down. But Marianne had to find that out the hard way.
I really marveled at Alan Rickman's performance in Sense and Sensibility. Until that point, I was only familiar with his villains. And he played those villains damn well. (I say "villain", but Rickman always referred to them as "very interesting people") It was hard to picture him bringing warmth and a quiet strength to the role of Colonel Brandon, but Rickman made it seem effortless and my heart was lost in the span of a couple of hours.
Rickman went on to many more iconic roles, including the universally lauded Severus Snape from the Harry Potter series. A role that, in less talented hands, could have come across as caricaturist, but in Rickman's hands became the haughty, complex, tortured performance we all know and love.
I will mourn in my own way. In the same way I'm sure many others will. Drinking wine and watching him in my favorite role. To feel some joy in the midst of sadness. To say goodbye to someone I never met, nor never will. And to not feel silly for doing so.
